One of the recurring drivers in our marriage is hope. It’s anticipating events and occurrences as the years pass and enjoying them when they unfold. In our context, hope is a positive driver not negative.
Hope differs greatly from expectation and this is a critical point to understand. Expectation is born from effort, while hope is born from thinking, dreaming, discussing.
Missy perpetually brings hope into our lives day in and day out, but it’s never more evident than with our children.
Cassandra: Missy’s long held hope for Cassie is happiness. She hopes Cassie is happy in whatever choices she makes, life she lives and experiences she has throughout her life. Her hope was in prime form while Cassie was attending nursing school and working through a number of issues. Cassie did it and Missy’s hope was a constant companion.
Shannon: From the beginning of the consideration of having Shannon, Missy’s hope was she enjoy being part of a bridged family. Cassie was 18 when we had Shannon, so Missy hoped Shannon would experience and appreciate everything having a sibling involved. Shannon has experienced it all and is now a big sister herself.
Tommy: The last addition to our family is Tommy and his time with us has been the shortest. His stay in the NICU was the most trying with him almost dying. As I’ve written about Tommy’s lung hemorrhage:
Our son was dying.
The respiratory therapists began debating what to do among themselves. Someone suggested taking Tommy off the vent and bagging him. A few seconds went by and no one said anything until my wife urged, “YES, BAG HIM!!”
Bagging began and in a few minutes the first positive signs on the monitors. His O2 saturation increased. A few minutes after that his hear rate came up. Within 10 minutes he was stabilizing. He wasn’t healthy nor was he on the right track, but he was stabilizing.
Missy’s hope for Tommy has always been health. Whether it was his re-admittance to the hospital with RSV or his surgery for strabismus, her hope for health was paramount.
Missy’s hope for our children is spiritually guided and shared without exchange. Her hopefulness drives her parenting and ensures our children see the world through hopeful, loving eyes.