Something given up or lost.
Did you get married to give something or lose it? I didn’t. At first.
As the years pass it’s obvious one of the structural supports of marriage is sacrifice. It’s what allows people to become more of a team than individual players. It shows unselfishness and commitment to something more important than themselves. It’s been important in our marriage and Missy has done our share, especially in the last 10 years.
Free time – The biggest thing Missy gave up is her free time. Just 10 years ago we were close to our only child graduating high school and leaving for college. Missy’s time would be her own again and she could do what she chose. We decided to find out why we never had more children and through the process found out we could have more children. Missy and I discussed, argued and prayed about what to do and decided to try. Knowing the time commitment of another child, Missy sacrificed her upcoming free time for child raising.
Seriously, she’s put her life on hold to be a mother to our three children. She’d argue with you and tell you, “There is nothing more I love doing than being a mother.” You’d nod and understand, but not really.
Her daily sacrifices through the last 10 years are like tiny pebbles tossed into the yard. When you look back you see she’s created a wonderful walkway through our life of love.
Need to be right – Many marriages fall into the trap where both people feel the need to be right all the time. Missy’s moved on this in the latter era of our marriage and is more amenable to understanding sometimes I am right. But, believe me, when she is right and I am wrong on something we’re hotly disputing, she will let me know. For instance, I told her there was no way her brother and her could replace our roof. They did. She was out there until late night getting the job done. I think she did it to spite me.
During a previous rush to get the house ready for a refinance, Missy was told we needed to fix the brick backstairs. We’d never done this before, so I thought we should hire someone. Missy went off to Home Depot, bought the supplied and worked into the night figuring out and how to replace the brick on the stairs. She worked at night, in the rain to get it done.
Our marriage has flourished due to Missy’s sacrifices. The sacrifices fed and grew our commitment and love.