After we were married our first son was born. While he was recovering from premature birth in the NICU, he died suddenly. The doctors didn’t have a definitive cause for his rapid deterioration or the exact circumstance as to why he died.
We were 18 and 17. Newly married to the point we were still learning how to live together and this happened.
My path with God split when my first son died. I had grown up catholic, attended a catholic high school and thought I understood my faith, I quickly learned I didn’t. Through the years I have developed a unique relationship with God, but I have never truly understood nor forgiven the death of my first son.
Missy always had strong faith, never wavered and has continued her religious education. I avoid discussing the intricacies of her relationship with God as I consider it highly personal and have a tendency to debate, which seems like attacking. What I do know is Missy has a special understanding of seeing God in the people and situations around her.
Until I began thinking about this special understanding, I was unaware it is a gift of the Holy Spirit. It allows a person to see things as God sees them and to treat others as God would treat them.
She works hard at her understanding it lends a perspective I can sometimes quickly dismiss. For instance, Shannon’s had an issue with a friend at school. My first inclination was to tell Shannon to have nothing to do with this kid and move on. Missy’s first inclination was to try to understand how Shannon can be nicer and more empathetic with the friend. You know, like Jesus would.
Missy isn’t a saint and her reactions sometimes veer away from the understanding she has gained, but many times in our marriage it has shown us a better, more loving way of handling things.
Even though she might not recognize it, her gift of understanding drives her to make the sacrifices needed to ensure our children can benefit from the gifts of the holy spirit. It’s a strain for us to send our children to catholic schools, but Missy’s understanding knows they will be better people with a strong faith foundation.